Football: No Fun Without Fans

As the German Bundesliga – and the rest of the world – prepares for the return of some live football, it will undoubtedly be a little disappointing that the fans aren’t allowed to attend the game, and for good reason, too. So, what better way to pay our respects to the people that fill the grounds than by putting a list together of some of the best football chants from English fans over the years (no way I could have done it in German).

  1. It is quite well-known that I am a Galatasaray supporter, and it is with my team that I shall begin. During a champions league game played against Chelsea, at Stamford Bridge, the home fans decided to sing, “you’re shish and you know you are…” on repeat. Despite the chant being to the detriment of my beloved team, even I can respect a very ‘well done’ joke about meat…
  2. One was a prolific goalscorer for Leeds, Chelsea and Middlesborough, with over 100 goals in the premier league, the other provided the voice for one of our favourite characters in the Shrek franchise, Donkey. During an away game against Newcastle United, then-Chelsea striker, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, was informed of how he resembled actor Eddie Murphy, but with one small difference. The witty fans sang, “you’re just a fat Eddie Murphy, a fat Eddie Murphy…” Poor Jimmy.

  3. Despite his age, Barcelona striker Luis Suarez is still considered world class, but
    Luis Suarez while on international duty for Uruguay

    back in 2011-2014, while playing for Liverpool, he was unplayable. His amazing talents, and personality made him the target of many football chants, one of which is still amongst my favourites. During a game against bitter rivals Manchester United, the Old Trafford fans decided to target a particularly large part of Luis’ body; his teeth. In an attempt to throw Suarez of his game, the stands chanted, “your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside.” It sounds mean, but they weren’t wrong. Luis’ teeth are always offside.

  4. For many girls, they dream of being proposed to in the perfect way, and taking a step closer to becoming a bride. Unfortunately for them, it is the man who is in charge of the proposal, a situation the men are overwhelmed with, too. During one such proposal, a Derby County fan decided that the perfect time to pop the question was before his team kicked off against Stoke City. Without any hesitation, the away fans decided to question the decision by chanting, “you don’t know what you’re doing…” mercilessly. As for the girl being proposed to, no idea what she said, but I am sure that Stoke fans won’t be invited to the wedding.
  5. During a game last year (when football existed) between Walsall and Forest Green Rovers, one of the away team players went down injured. It was clear the home fans were more concerned about the pitch as they shouted, “that vegan bastard, he’s eating our grass”, which is not a cure for injuries.

Although football fans can be a little too “passionate” at times, they also bring a lot of fun, excitement and humour to the stands. Hopefully, once we get back to some kind of “normal”, the turnstiles will be turning again, but for now, let’s enjoy the return of the Bundesliga from the safety of our homes, and clap the German government and football association who have managed to get back to the stadiums in the most responsible way possible. 

Die Bundesliga ist zurück!!

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